29 years ago this relationship started! To be exact 7 years of courting and 22 years of marriage. God has been faithful and good and He has sustained us through many seasons in our lives. This 29 years of experience has helped us advice and prepare some pre-marriage couples, as they venture into marriage themselves. Our life stories have helped many a couple avoid the pitfalls we had suffered. God put us through these experiences and has also burdened us, to help others avoid the pain we went through both in our courting and marriage life.
At some wedding ceremonies, I have come across this wonderful marriage scripture verses which have helped us understand our roles better:
Message version Ephesians 5
29-33No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.
There are many truths in this passage that are important which I pray my wife and I will continue to observe:
1. The vows we pronounced between ourselves is a covenant with God and in ultimate submission to each other it says "till death do us part"! This is the basis of all Christian marriages, there are no option in a marriage. We have to work at it and make it happen with lots of prayer and trusting God to keep His end of the covenant. We have a choice to make!
2. Becoming "one flesh" is a mystery and I can only describe it as, completely intertwining - as one. Imagine knowing your spouse's thoughts, desires, likes, wants, and everything! We advocate enjoying each other's uniqueness too, and forsaking all other persons, who will come in the way to destroy this union. Physical pleasure and enjoyment in marriage is also an important part of this oneness as it eventually reproduces a happy family.
3. Leaving father and mother and cherishing our wife is sometimes very challenging in an Asian cultural context. This discipline is to help us develop our own vision, style, financial management and also to blend our gifting together. This will help us run our own home in a biblical sense, and work out the partnership between husband and wife in raising our own family. The parents are still to be honored as this commands a blessing... so learn to be wise.
3. Leaving father and mother and cherishing our wife is sometimes very challenging in an Asian cultural context. This discipline is to help us develop our own vision, style, financial management and also to blend our gifting together. This will help us run our own home in a biblical sense, and work out the partnership between husband and wife in raising our own family. The parents are still to be honored as this commands a blessing... so learn to be wise.
4. Respect, honor, trust are all recipes for success! Learn to treat the other as you would like to be treated and you will not go wrong. Do away with all the comparing and competing to see who is smarter, brighter, better and in the process even get the children involved. If we are "one flesh" then it is like spitting skyward and having the saliva land on our own faces...... shame on us!
The question to ask then is, "Is it easy?" Not at all, we still struggle in some of the areas of our strongholds. They rear their ugly heads every now and then and we have to choose to overcome it, so we covert your prayers.
Saying "I am sorry" and "please forgive me" easily and quickly are right ingredients to this happy marriage recipe. I want to be able to remember this always, so please pray for my male ego!
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